Trees can Teach — 78 Cups

The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let things go.

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I recently saw the above quote on Facebook accompanied by a beautiful picture of leaves changing color. I wish I knew the source. There are only a few words, yet they so powerful. There are many things that people will go through in their life but when you are going through things, it can be difficult to see what is on the other side. Being able to trust yourself and your support network, and to have faith that things will work out is hard.

Getting through to the other side can mean letting go; letting go of people, of places, of mementos or even of memories. We are not required to keep everything that happens with us. We need to know that we can let things go. It will be okay. We can walk away. Sometimes we must leave things behind to see what is on the other side.

I am a collector. I have spent most of my life collecting things; pictures, books, mementos, and rocks…so many rocks. In spite of this, over the past few years, I have really tried to unclutter. Yes, maybe I am jumping on the KonMari wagon, but it has been a good process for me. By going through and evaluating why I keep the things I keep, I have been able to find the things that are important to me. By eliminating the clutter around me, the significant things have become more visible.

The need to unclutter is not limited to material things. Emotional and psychological clutter can be just a debilitating. By letting go of the things that are not good for me, I am able to live a happier life. I am learning to let go of …

My concern for others opinions of me. I know I am a ‘people pleaser’ but I am learning that value is internal.

Old emotional wounds. People will hurt you. You will hurt people. If they hurt you, they may never know or care. Holding on to that pain will only hurt you more. If you hurt others, own it and grow from it. You cannot change the past but you can change how you move forward.

The idea that I am responsible for anyone other than myself. Ok, I have a young daughter so I hold some responsibility for her. What I mean is that others in my life do not dictate my value. I cannot control their behavior any more than they can control my thoughts and actions. That is an awfully hard one to let go.

My idealized version of what I should be, what I should look like, and how I should behave. Since my 21st birthday, I have always wished for happiness. What I have learned by letting go of a lot of these things is that happiness is not in what title or degree you have, in the clothing that you wear, in the way you look or in the things you have. It is in the love of the people we care for and more importantly, the love we have for ourselves that matters.

As the leaves fall, I hope you find the strength to let go. Changing habitual behavior is extremely difficult especially the habits we do not even realize we have. Do things with purpose. Take the time to evaluate what you need to let go of and remember it is a continuous process. Letting go may leave you feeling bare for a while, but learn from trees – better things are to come.