Order of the Thistle

I had promised in an earlier post to talk more about dating in your 40s.  I have to tell you, I think this is one of the few things I am glad my mother isn’t seeing but then again perhaps her sage wisdom could have saved me some trouble along the way.  Now, I have to admit, I have had some fun making some of those mistakes and wouldn’t change all of them but in the end finding someone to share your life with at this stage of the game isn’t easy. 

I once told a friend it is more important to know what you don’t want than to know what you do want. I still believe that to be true but it leads to a much more guarded approach to dating.  Again, maybe not such a bad thing but I know that my fear of getting hurt has allowed me to believe that sitting on the sidelines is not such a bad thing when in fact it can be a terrible thing.

I have had all the cliche dating experiences.  The narcissist who cannot stop talking about himself, the guy with the creepy artwork covering his walls, the guy who loves him mom just a little too much, and of course the leech who thinks if he buys you a drink he automatically gets a shag. Rebel Wilson’s Match.com commercial IRL, I swear.  But for all of those dates, I have also met men who were funny and smart, great conversationalists who loved their mom just the right amount but for some reason or other we were just not the right fit for each other.

So for all my hesitation, and hanging out on the sidelines, I do know that there are good guys out there.  I try to think of what my mother would say to me about them. She would tell me to have faith, to make choices that feel good to me, and to above all respect myself and find someone who treats me with that same respect.

And so I will keep on looking, knowing that one day I just might be someone’s Lady of the Most Noble Order of the Thistle… That’s the closest I can come to being a knight in shining armour.