Order of the Thistle Continued

Since this blog is about having conversations, I am going to share my perspective on this topic of dating over 40 because Deb left out a few lessons we can all benefit from. So here are the things I have learned from watching my sister date over 40…

Bad boys are just that – Bad.

Deb was dating the tough, little rebellious kind of guy. He was sweet and kind at first, so she saw past the rough exterior, but in the end, he turned out to be nothing like the man Deb thought he could be. The reality is that you cannot change people and sometimes the bad exterior is reflected through to the core of a person.   

Due Diligence is required.

I remember one person and this I believe was in the early years of her dating so not an over 40 more like an over 35 issue. She was talking with this person and it was great. She was happy; she laughed and really seemed to like him. The issue, however, came when they went to meet and she found out he was married. A portion of time in her life she will never get back.

Make sure you are aware of the dress code.

I can still remember when Deb called letting me know that she had been talking back and forth with this guy that seemed really nice. Then, however, when they met he was very upfront that he spent a significant amount of vacation time (we are talking months a year) at a nudist colony. Now, couple of things, he was upfront which was great. Living in a nudist colony is a personal choice and he was not hiding it. The second thing though is he needed to be with someone that would go with him and well if you know my sister at all, you would see how it would not be a great fit.  

Do not let your own insecurities get in the way of a good relationship.

This last one is not so funny, but I think a reality for anyone that is dating. I know I had this problem when I dated in my 20s. There is that person you really like, you have great conversations, you enjoy the time you have together, but because you think you are not enough for the person, you find ways to sabotage it. I think these types of situations require a lot of good communication. Heck, I know even in marriage insecurities can get in the way of important things when you do not talk. That is why communicating is one of the most important components of any relationship.

So overall, Deb has definitely had some story worthy experiences in the past years. Aside from making for great conversations, I think it has helped her see her worth. She is after all a beautiful, bright and funny individual that will find her Mr. Darcy when the time is right.

Deb one her first date…Grade 5.