You are not alone.

First, I’d like to introduce myself. I am Debby MacKinnon. The woman this blog is dedicated to and her family became dear friends to me when I moved to Holic Ave at the age of 25. I had watched Debbie and Doreen grow up alongside my kids. I watched as they developed into beautiful women.  When they asked me to write a post for the blog, I was very honoured. I am not a writer, but the girls felt it important for me to share my story so I will give it a shot.

A Friend is someone that will overlook your broken fence to admire your flowers. ~ Author Unknown

Thank you Debby for your willingness to share and to overlook our broken fence! ~ Doreen and Deb

I have always believed that things just don’t happen by chance but that everything (the good, the bad, and the ugly) happens for a reason. Hindsight, should of, would of, or could of does not matter. So when I was fortunate to meet up with the girls this past summer, I don’t think it was just by chance. I had not seen the girls in so long- it was like going back in time. There were lots of tears but they were mostly happy tears – right Doreen!!

When I was there, Deb and I had a chance to talk for a bit (not nearly long enough).  We  share a common thread as we both suffer from depression. What I didn’t know until returning home was somehow I had missed her blog on June 27th about being alone in a crowd. This brought me to tears. I too am in counselling. When my psychologist told me I was clinically depressed, you could have knocked me over with a feather. Being a nurse for 39 years, it was like how could this be? I have been through many stressful situations in my 60 years and I always considered myself a very strong person. My being open to therapy, however, has taught me so much about myself and how to deal with my sad and lonely feelings. I am a very strong person

Having depression does not mean you are weak. I truly believe everyone at some point in his or her life becomes depressed. Whether it is a loss, a situation you have no control over, a hurt, or an illness- Something triggers a sadness that you just cannot shake.

One of the most important things I have learned is that nothing stays the same and change is constant. Things will get better. I have learned to journal (OMG sometimes I read old journals and see how far I have come… or not and that is  fine too). Realizing that sometimes you cannot fix everything was a big lesson for me. I am a fixer. However, through  strategies and coping techniques  like mediation (not easy for a Type A personality) and becoming more active with walking, I have been able to heal. Walking has been one of the best things for me in dealing with depression – I have put so many miles on me! I also truly believe that sharing is very important. It is not something to be ashamed of or something to hide – we need to talk about our stuff.  So Deb – you are not alone!!

What I find has really helped me more than anything else these past few months- and which brings me full circle to my beautiful friend Katherine Mae- is kindness. You see Kathy was one of the kindest people I have ever known. In trying to focus less on the negative in my world, I have come to re-realize  that if you can do even the smallest act of kindness for someone, you bring not only joy to them, but to yourself as well. There are things that are not my fault and beyond my control but I can always try to be kind. I have also become more mindful. I try to remember ‘The 3’  before I speak – is it true, is it necessary and is it kind? I keep hope and ask that you do not give up on hope. Live for today. Yesterday is just a memory (many of them very special and kept in our hearts) and tomorrow has not come yet so for all of us that fret and worry… STOP.

Finally, a big thank you to Debbie, Doreen and those of you that have helped create these beautiful blog posts. You have helped me through a very difficult time with laughs, with tears and with love. Thank you.