Heading for Home

I must admit I am feeling rather excited, one week and I will be off to Cape Breton for a visit.  One of my favourite times of the year.  Getting ready for my trip also got me thinking a little bit more about the topic of connection that we were discussing in last week’s post.

We focused a lot on the human connection.  That need to find people with whom you can totally be yourself, or feel comfortable enough to admit that you are still trying to figure out who that is.  These connections are so very important.  For a moment, however, there is another kind of connection I want to talk about.

Doreen and I have discussed this in other posts but it is amazing how a place can also feel like a balm to your soul.  Where just the very air around you seems to envelope you in a comforting embrace.  For me, the smell of the ocean or the brackish waters of the Bras D’or lakes always does that.

It was something our mother felt as well.  The pull she felt from Cape Breton was undeniable and I believe it is something both Doreen and I have inherited.   We are lucky that we now have a little sanctuary along the shores of the Bras D’or at the “head of the waters”.  It is a place where life is full but moves at a different, much slower pace.  I believe now that was always part of the draw for our mother.

You know that meme that was going around on Facebook “I don’t have a duck, or a row.  I have squirrels and they are at a rave”, or something to that effect.  Well, I am sure the person that came up with that had a glimpse inside my brain.  The way things ping around in my head would put a pinball machine to shame.  This is all too easily evidence if you spend any time in conversation with me, my speech has a healthy gait to say the least.

But when I go home, even my squirrels seem to take a rest.  There is a sense of calm that comes over me and I get as close to meditative as I will ever come.  It is a place to do all those things that we are told are so important but we never seem to do….relax, unwind, find calm and feel quiet.

I am in awe of those individuals who can do this anywhere.  For the majority of us, trying to meditate only stresses us out!  Joking aside it is really important to find the people, place, activities, etc. that give you that calm.

The MacLean’s article that speaks to our loss of the weekend and the impact that constant “connection”, is making the rounds on social media again and I am glad.  It is a conversation that is important.  Last week I talked about my depression, anxiety and sense of loneliness.  Part of the root cause of that was I was giving far too much to my job.  Evening and weekends were fair game, 60-70 hour weeks were standard for me.  I would find myself during my holidays saying…. “Go ahead I will catch up with you, I just have a few emails to check”.  Then hours later I would finally joint the fun, usually wound up and frustrated from work.

This was not a healthy balance.  I recognize that we are living in a time of do more with less, but I believe (and there are boatloads of studies out there to back me up) that my productivity was no better.  I was falling victim to the law of diminishing returns and this was not only happening at work.

So, use me as a cautionary tale.  Strive for balance that works for you. Instead of isolating yourself from who and what you love, find your connections and let them feed you.