Lessons from Learning
Our parents allowed us to try just about every extra-curricular activity that was available to us in our hometown: piano, guitar, fiddle, Gaelic speaking, piping, drummer, Brownies, Brigade, soccer, basketball, volleyball, ballet dancing, and highland dancing. Before you ask, no, that is not an exhaustive list. You could say it was a lack of commitment, but in fairness to us, we did do most of them by the time we were ten.
Our parents wanted us to find activities and endeavors that we were passionate about. For me it was dance, drumming and volleyball. Deb loved her music (piping and singing) and dance. They spent so many hours driving us, ironing clothing, and arranging schedules. It is definitely one of the thousands of things that made our Mother so amazing.
I was introduced to some amazing people through the process of finding my passion. Not only did Deb and I have the opportunity to work with world class musicians, dancers and artists, we worked with world class human beings.
After several hours of telling old stories and laughing about our earlier years, we decided to make a list of lessons learned from our many teachers. It is a thank you to all the amazing teachers we had the pleasure to learn from and a reminder to them and all teachers how significant they are in the lives of their students.
Can’t is a word that should not be in your vocabulary.
We both had a dance teacher that did not allow the word can’t to be used in her class. And if by chance you did let it slip out, there was an extra fling for you at the end of class. She did not set unrealistic expectations that we could be or have anything. She was teaching us that if we blocked ourselves with “I can’t” then we would never succeed. If we tried, maybe it was possible.
Practice and discipline matter.
Even the most talented of our friends and teachers put in the time and effort to achieve their level of excellence. I am not going to paint all our instructors as disciplined saints. There were a good number of them that knew how to play just as hard as they worked. The key, however, was you played hard only after you worked hard.
There is always a Safe Place.
Our household went through some rough years. There were times when sadness, anger and loneliness were all present, sometimes all at the same time. The great part of having amazing people in your life though was that you were never really in it alone. If you just wanted to sit, dance, or hit the ball in silence you could. If you needed to talk, cry or laugh you could do that too.
Humility matters.
We were privileged to have world renowned pipers, drummers, singers, gaelic speakers and dancers in our lives. People that were disciplined, talented and to be honest earned the right to have a pretty significant ego. We, however, were fortunate enough to not only see these people in the classroom, but have them around our kitchen table. Our father’s job at the time made our house a gathering place for many of our instructors. It was there that you saw the real characters. We saw these experts as people. People that were kind, funny and gracious. No matter how many accolades they earned, they never took themselves too seriously.
There are other options.
Deb was the singer in the family, but that did not mean I was not able to get involved. I remember one of my elementary teachers encouraging me to play percussion for the choir. So instead of discouraging me from participating, I was given another option. This also happened with the pipe band. I was an average drummer, so when it came time for competition, I would often be cut. Happened to Deb more than a few times as well. Since we were such a small band at the time, the backup often was being a bass or tenor drummer but not always. Sometimes you just had to sit out. We learned that when things do not turn out as you planned, you try to find an alternative.
The show must go on.
No matter what was happening, if there was a show there was a show. If you committed to something, you committed to something. You may have to deviate from your original plan or put on a smile when you were hurting, but the show must go on. It does not stop. One incident in particular I remember involved one of my favorite band members. She was one of my protectors. We were playing a concert and the group before us was playing a song that was played at her Uncle's funeral just days before. She cried. This lady never cried. You could see that she was really hurting. However, as soon as we heard line up, she dried her eyes, found her smile and the show went on.
Leave it on the field.
When you competed, you competed to win. You wanted to beat someone else. You wanted to be better than them. On the court, the field or the stage, for those few minutes, they were not your friends. Once the competition was over, however, the competition was over. There is nothing wrong with being a fierce competitor but you never let that interfere with your human connections.
Failure happens.
We grew up in a time when not everyone got a ribbon, where there were kids who got first place and there were kids who got last. We were more often than not a second place finisher but I will tell you we didn’t feel that ever harmed us. We were taught that doing what we loved was the point and more important than the winning ever was.
Literally hours after writing this we saw a past instructor, Bruce Gandy, being interviewed about participating in one of the most prestigious competitions in the Piping world. He said “It is about 10 people playing and supporting each other. It just happens that they put a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd at the end of it but that is a sidebar”
Looking back on all of the above lessons and the countless other things we could have listed, we want to thank all our teachers. Your jobs are ones you do for the love of the activity and the people you teach. You are often overlooked and underappreciated. Please know your impact is long lasting and significant.
Lastly, for any readers with young people in their lives. Encourage them to join a team, a band, a club or take a dance or piano class. Even if thirty-odd years later, they are no longer doing the activity, the lessons they will have learned from their instructors and friends will shape them. It is more than worth your effort.
NOTE: We would be remiss if did not note that all of our activities involved amazing friends as well, but that is a blog for another day.
ED. Missie Brown
