New Friends

We have talked about our old friends and the value of maintaining the healthy relationships with people that have come into your life. These are people that you may know from an old neighborhood, school or organization to which you belong. They are the people that know you at a different level than most and there is comfort in that relationship.

In this post, however, I wanted to take some time to talk about new friends. Our mother’s kitchen table was always opened to any one that needed a place. It was a practice she learned from her Mother and Father – I think of it like that quote “when you have more than you need build a longer table not a bigger fence”. That was our family. Even when they didn’t have more than they needed, my parents and grandparents found a way to extend their table.

As someone that has almost 20 addresses spanning three countries, I know a little about being the new person on the block. That process of having to settle in to a new place and find where you belong is always an adventure. Sometimes a good and sometimes a difficult one, but an adventure none the less.

Upon reflection of my moves, however, I have always been lucky to find kindness, open hearts and really great people. I think of my wonderful colleagues who invited us to our first US Thanksgiving dinner with their family, friends who have invited us into their homes at Christmas, or the neighbors that greeted us with Hello Jello the first day we moved in. All people that have become truly great friends.

I also think of the people that I leaned on when Mom first passed away. Among them were some people I only meet after Mom passed. These were people that did not know my stories and allowed me to reminisce with enthusiasm and perhaps with a rose-colored lens to the past because they did not know my baggage. There is something cathartic about telling someone a story when they do not know the players.

I bring this up to get to the heart of this post and that is to talk about the importance of realizing that sometimes you have to build new bridges to move forward. You do not necessarily have to burn the old ones, it is not a dichotomy, rather I want to focus on the importance of opening yourself to finding new relationships that help you flourish.

This comes to mind because of things I have been reading on social media as of late. I have been following some people that are on some amazing journeys of growth and recovery. In reading their posts and watching their videos, I see a theme that runs through them. It is the idea of embracing the support of new people or perhaps people they have not seen or been in connect with for years. To change ones’ circumstances, it sometimes takes the love and support of people that have not been through it with you but rather those that can relate and understand the you that you want to become.

Starting fresh, whether in a new place to call home, a new outlook on life or on the other side of a struggle, remember that not everyone has to come with you or understand you. Opening your mind and heart to the kindness and support of new friends can be part of the fresh start you need.