Catch Up Sessions
One of the traditions of home for us was the “catch up”. It was usually the first hour or so of conversation with someone that you have not seen in a while to catch up on the people that they see or talk to on a regular basis that you may or may not see. Yes, it was a polite way of saying gossip session, but at my Mom’s table, the catch up always came from a place of concern and love. There was never a “oh how did she manage that” or “he must know someone to get that” kind of attitude. It was simply a time to learn about and catch up on the people you love. Yes, our Mother would have loved Facebook!!
These past two summers I have been spending more time in the place where I grew up. As a result, I have had a lot “catch up” sessions with family and friends. These sessions have not only helped me reminisce and reconnect with friends and family, they have reminded me of how lucky I am to have so many amazing people surrounding and supporting me and more importantly, my daughter.
Now, I could easily take up all that is left of our 78 posts talking about each one of the great people in my life but one blog post at a time and let’s not get ahead of ourselves because I want to focus on my cousins right now. For us, they were of all ages, some we saw once in a while and those that were as close to us a sibling. Here are my 7 lessons recently learned from my cousins.
1) Time with Family is time well spent. Whether at a proper birthday party or over a simple cup of tea, making time to sit and just be with family is important. It helps remind you of who you are, where you are from and how you’ll get where you are going.
2) Forgiveness is hard. Like every family, we have had our share of moments with one another, things said and done that would have been better left alone. We can push through those moments and still be family on the other side.
3) Planning is important, but not at the cost of living. Planning, goals and ambition are good, but you need to be sure that the destination is not all that is in focus. Living in the present is essential to happiness.
4) Those that love you have got your back. Sometimes you just need to know there is someone you can ask for help and they will show up. You may not always find those people in your family, but when you do, it is awesome. There is also something fantastic about being that “got your back” person for the people you love.
5) You do not have to be like me to love me. Family will do things that you do not like. They will believe, do and say things you may not agree with, but in the end isn’t it those differences that make family gatherings more interesting?
6) As your children grow their choices become their own. Living with that can be a balancing act. As a parent of a young child, I have had a lot of control of what my daughter does. She depends on me to help her make a number of the decisions she makes on a daily basis. However, as children grow up, your role as a parent changes. Those changes can be hard.
7) Family will always have an image of who they think you are. Breaking that image of who you used to be can be hard. Sometimes it is comforting to be that same person, and sometimes it can be stifling. You need to practice self-care with this one.
So to all my cousins, younger and older, thank you for being awesome. I know Mom would be so proud of the people you have become. To others reading this post, having people that you love, that love you and that will love you unconditionally is a fabulous gift. If you are fortunate enough to have them in your life, blood or otherwise, be sure you never take it for granted.
Around my Nannie or Mom’s table, once and a while Carnation milk would come out. Mom loved it for a treat (or a good back up when needed)!