Shower the people you love ...

Doreen asked me if I wanted to write a birthday post, my first reaction was to say “naw” but I saw something on FaceBook and I realized that I had to.  It was actually birthday posts from Doreen to our former dance teacher and one of our good friends. Doreen had managed to find a bunch of great photos that brought back a lot of happy memories and she took the time to tell these people just how much they mean to her.

There was no falseness to the words, she wasn’t trying to get people to like her post rather they were just honest to goodness reflections of how much these people mean to her and how much she wished them a happy day.

I believe we need to celebrate the milestones in our lives.  Not to sound dire but we never truly know how many we are going to get.  Birthdays give us that opportunity to tell someone we care that no matter the time or distance “I am thinking about you”.

Ok, I am going to fess up I only got so far when I started to write this post.  I had the best of intentions and in my mind had an idea of what I was trying to say but I faltered.  I began to think “am I not just repeating things we have said before”.  So I just let the words sit there and honestly thought they wouldn’t be worth sharing.  However after the weekend I just had I think they are important words.  Let me explain.

I hopped on a plane on Friday and headed for the east coast.  It was a world-wind trip and I will admit I am tired but my battery is completely charged.  You see, every year I use my birthday as an “excuse” to spend time with my people which usually means a trip to Nova Scotia.  This trip was no exception.  There were glasses of bubbly, beer and whiskey shared.  Hockey games, beach walks and moments of remembrance.  Great food and conversation along with absolute gales of laughter.  It was during one of these conversations that a friend (who is more like family) said that we need to “do the things”.  He was talking about seeing the places you wanted to see and saying the things you wanted to say.  He knows this better than most as he lost his brother at a young age in an accident that happened in the blink of an eye.

So “do the things”.   Make sure you let the people that matter to you know that they do, don’t wait to tell them just say it now.  I realized that the reason why I faltered when I started to write this post is you don’t have to wait for milestones or birthdays to recognize those you love.  We can do it every day.

So here are some of my tips for “saying” I am thinking of you.

1.  If you hear a song and it reminds you of someone, of a funny moment shared or a joint sorrow let them know.

2.  Saying I love you never gets old.  I always end my calls to my sister and father with a quick “love you”.  I have been doing it for decades and I mean it every time I say it.

3.  If you see something that you think a friend or love one might like, snap a picture and send it along with “thought you might like this”.  It will mean that your phone will fill up with a lot of very random pictures (see below) but you will smile when you come across them again. 

4. Find the time to spend the time. We are all really busy but sometimes even the quickest of visits (even virtual ones) can make more difference than you know.

5. Remember the milestones.  Whether it be birthdays or the anniversary of an important event, let the people you love know that you remember.  I have a friend who can never remember birthdays but does remember that Dec 3rd is “X-Ring Day” and always sends me a message that says “Happy Cult Day”.

So, in the words of James Taylor “shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel”.