Chocolate Chip Muffins

Twelve years ago today, we were dealing with the loss of our mother for the first time. After losing her battle to cancer, our mother passed away with a grace we had never before experienced. She had her husband, daughters, sister, niece and nephews by her side. We surrounded her bed and she laid there with a gentle smile. She closed her eyes took a deep breath and she went quiet. Then another deep breath followed by another beautiful smile and a final deep breath, then one final smile and she was gone. We can only speculate what happened in those last minutes, but it is nice to think loved ones greeted her as she embraced her end.

Her leaving, however, left a large void in our lives. She was our rock, our strength, and the glue that kept our family together. To be honest, the reality of just how significant she was to our family did not truly hit us until she was gone. We still spend hours talking about the things she did for us and others, however, we thought today to celebrate her we would list a few of the things that we would say thank you for if we had her here today.

Ironing

This might not be what you expected us to say, but it was so much more than just the ironing itself.  Both of us were active members of a dance troupe and a pipe band.  Not to mention numerous other groups and organizations.  This meant hours of making, mending and ironing our various costumes and uniforms.  We did not realize at the time how precious this was, and not to sound overly sentimental, even though she couldn’t always be at our events (our mother worked very hard to support us) she was always there. 

Never wanted

There may not have been a lot in the bank but we never wanted for anything.  We seemed to have the toys, the clothes and the treats we wanted.  Looking back now, we realize that some of these things were the homemade versions but somehow that never matter to us.  We realize the reason for never feeling his sense of wanting is that there was always an abundance of love.

Homemade Treats

Our mother was able to make a delicious meal out of just about anything. Looking into the cupboard we would say “there is nothing to eat”, yet she would produce an enjoyable meal. She was best known among family and friends for chocolate chip muffins, pizza rolls, pizza and her whipped shortbread. We found it interesting just how many people mentioned her cooking after she passed. Our school friends remembered coming in for a bite to eat after school with great fondness, but what drew them back time and time again was the safe place she created for people to talk without judgement, which leads us to the next item. She was a vault.

The Vault

Katherine Mae was a great listener. You knew that when you spoke to her she would help guide you through whatever it was that you were going through. Direct advice was not her style instead one often found their own clarity in speaking with her. The great thing about Mom was that she could hold your stories, your fears and your secrets like no one else we knew.

Always go home

Growing up we did not live in a house, we always lived in a home. We were both encouraged to explore the world yet we were always welcomed back. The security in the home she created made venturing into the world less scary. Although we have learned since her passing that she dreaded us travelling so far away, we never felt anything but encouragement from her.

Value of family

The strength of the bond we share today is the result of her teaching. Her family was always her main priority. She loved and lived for creating memorable family moments.

As we celebrate our Mother’s memory, please considering taking the time to thank your loved ones for the ways in which they enrich your life.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

                                                          -From a headstone in Ireland