She Paid It Forward

I have to admit the latest trip to the little red house did not have the most auspicious start.  A ruptured water pipe and the lack of heat pump meant that we could not spend the first night there.  When dawn broke the next morning, however, there was a determination to get things done. And get things done we did.  

Friday saw the house filled with activity. So much of which mom would have loved.  There was the transforming of old objects, the making of new ones and an opportunity to be both practical and creative (we were able to turn a fallen tree into the most perfect seating around the fire pit.) and I cannot forget the chance to belt out some Dolly Parton tunes while we worked. 

More than what was happening, it was the how it happened that mom would have loved. It was a coming together of family and friends.  Doreen equated it to a barn raising and I have to agree.  The whole time we were there, we felt this sense of community.  People constantly dropping by to lend a hand. There were so many times Doreen and I just looked at each other knowing just how much Mom was with us.  

There were also many examples of how her lessons were never far away. For those of you who did not know her she was a night owl. Toiling away to all hours on her latest project. Well, as we sat there a little high from leather dye fumes and hemming curtains, we knew her example to us was not lost.

There was more depth to those lessons than we may have originally realized.  At one point our cousin came by to help out with some of the yard work and we started talking about what we had been doing since we arrived.  It was everything from weeding the garden, the aforementioned furniture assembly, to disposing of the unfortunate mouse who tried making the cottage his home.  The conversation highlighted the fact that Doreen and I were not raised to separate the work along gender lines (no such thing as girl jobs or boy jobs in our house) but rather we were raised to believe that when things needed doing you just got on with it.  One certainly did not let a little thing like lack of heat or water get in your way. 

Throughout her childhood, my mother faced many challenges but her family had a very can-do attitude.  The challenges only served to create a resilience. I like to believe that Doreen and I carry of bit of that in our DNA. That said, however, this weekend showed us that you don’t have to do it alone.  Sometimes it is difficult to ask for help, there is a sense of vulnerability when you need assistance but our uncle said to Doreen, “you only have to ask”. While I recognize that is not a luxury everyone has, it was obvious that for Doreen and I, we only need ask and help would be there.  We also realized that much of that exists because of our mothers legacy, it was coming to us as a result of the kindness that she so often gave to the those in her life (family, friend or stranger). She was paying it forward long before the movie was released. 

We had a very early start on our last morning.  There was a flurry of last minute activity as the fog was dancing on the bay but in those last minutes looking around the cottage, I caught glimpses of who we were and where we came from. There were all kinds of little vignettes showing family history.  Ultimately, this is what our mother would have loved.  The Little Red house has become an anchor.  A place that brings the family together, a place to preserve our past but more importantly a place to create a future full of campfire stories, hearty laughs and love. 

Finding those things that bring that kind of joy are important.  They take work and at times one can question the effort required but the happiness is unequaled.  Katherine Mae knew this and I am so very glad it is a lesson she shared.