Accept ... or Change

“Life can either be accepted or changed.  If it is not accepted, it must be changed.  If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted”                                                                              -unknown

This quote came up in my Facebook memories a few days ago and seems very fitting for life’s current situation.  I found myself in a place that felt untenable.  I was not happy.  It was impacting my work and more importantly my overall mental health.   I have talked before about the struggles I have had with depression and I found myself teetering on that edge again. So, I realized I had to make a change.  I think I was waiting around for someone or something to fix things for me, but I now know that the only person who can make that happen is me.

That is a lesson that I learned from my mother, it just got lost for a little while.  I realize now, as an adult, the many times my mother had to make the choice to either accept or to change.  Her lessons to us were not always overt but she taught my sister and I that you have to work for what you want in life.

So, with that in mind, I am embarking on a bit of a new journey.  I am taking a bit of a hiatus from my day job to work on a passion project and truly find the balance I have been seeking for a while now.

Making these kinds of changes in never easy, I cannot tell you how afraid I still am of having made such a big life decision.  However, with the love and support of my family and friends, I know that I will get over the hurdles that will present themselves.

Today would have been our mother’s birthday.  It is a day filled with bittersweet emotion.  I miss her as much today and I ever have.  As I sit her having a cup of tea, I would give anything to have her across from me, catching up on the gossip from home and talking about my latest jewelry project.  But she is not there, and this is one of those things that I cannot change.  I have accepted it and choose to spend my energy on being grateful for the time I did have with her, instead of being angry about losing her too early.

We all have choices to make in life.  When you can change something, believe in yourself, make the effort to effect change.  When you cannot change it find your peace with it. Carrying around anger and resentment is much too heavy load for anyone. You can feel those things, I certainly did at the loss of my mother (anger can be a good motivator at times), but don’t feed it, work through it and leave it behind.