The Value of Family
The Last of the Chocolate Chip Muffins Series…
Our Mother loved her family and was always there for them. Shortly after our parents were married, they moved to Ottawa. She liked the city but it just didn’t stick. After numerous trips and visitors, Mom wanted to move back home. Her reasons for wanting to move home are ones we never discussed with her, but all the stories say she missed her family too much.
The move “home” meant we ended up living in a town that was about an hour from her parents’ home. The journey from North Sydney to Whycocomagh is a drive that Deb and I, some 20 odd years after living off the Island, can still do with our eyes closed. Weekends, vacations and many other days in between, we would make the trek to see our family. I remember telling someone that Whycocomagh was like home to me. They could not fathom a place they had never lived feeling like home but it was where we had our beginning- both Deb and I were born there. The waters, the parks, and the mountains of that area hold some of the best days of my childhood.
Mom put family first. She loved them- to work with them, to spend time with them, and to be there for them. After the untimely death of her Brother in his thirties, Mom’s connection to her family grew stronger. Cousins became siblings, grand Aunts and Uncles became friends/sitters, Whycocomagh/Blues Mills continued to be our second home. Her connection to her family meant that we in turn also shared that connection. Her biological family was not her only family. She also had her Holic Ave family, her boat family, and her Saint John family. Along with an unwavering commitment to family, she understood the value of friendship and just how deep those bonds could run.
A TV show I enjoy recently brought up an old saying… blood is thicker than water. It is derived from the proverb “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” I know right down into my bones, our mother understood all versions and meanings of this saying because I learned them from her.
When Mom passed away things changed. We still embrace our biological family but we also started to build an extended family that has really become such an important part of both our lives. Friends have become Aunts and Uncles to my little one. One can never underestimate the importance of having uncles who always make sure you have a sparkly dress or the comfort an only child finds in having a "god-sister".
The lessons left to us by our mother were ones of love, commitment, and loyalty. She showed us the value of “family” in its many and wonderful forms. This lesson is important, particularly now. We live in a world where there is more virtual connection than ever before and somehow this increased connection is leading to increased loneliness. Our mother showed us, that while not always easy, putting in the energy to be present for your “family” will pay immeasurable dividends.
