Never Wanting
Do you remember that one thing you always wanted when you were a kid but never got? I don’t. That certainly makes me sound spoiled and, to be honest, I was. Our parents, particularly our mom, worked very hard to make sure that we felt we had all that we needed. I realize now that meant a lot of sacrifice on her part. That sense of never feeling like I wanted or needed something came from the home she created. You see the one thing that never lacked in our house was love. With that love came the belief that things were possible and from that belief came the things we wanted.
Now, don’t get me wrong there were some very tight times in the MacAulay household, but our mother taught us that with a little bit of imagination and elbow grease you could overcome those tight times. It might mean you spend hours painting dolls; I still have minor aversions to wooden dolls with painted faces. But I also have great memories of time spent with mom making those dolls. Mom was what I refer to as “crafty” because she enjoyed making crafts and she was brave enough to tackle a variety of projects. She took on everything from fancy birthday cakes (my favourite was the “Love Boat” she made me for my 10th birthday) to prom dresses. I didn’t realize at the time it was because we couldn’t afford the designer cakes, flowered dresses or plaid shorts I wanted. What I was getting were cakes, dresses or shorts that no one else had. I remember trips to Ingraham’s in North Sydney where we would get to pick out our own prints and plaids. It was thrilling.
Doreen’s handmade prom dress and my handmade shorts.
She taught us to be grateful for what we had. We were made to feel that we were fortunate. I remember evenings when a pan of biscuits would be supper. My mother made the best biscuits you have ever tasted so again, to us this was a treat when in fact it was yet another way our mother was able to stretch the dollars that we had.
I could go on with the list. For example, there were a couple of seasons where beautiful quilted tree skirts were made on mass. The sales of which paid for university text books. Her lesson to us was “there is always a way”. It might take a lot of work and more than a fair dose of creativity but it could be done.
I am sure there were moments of enormous stress for our mother. Doreen and I were involved in a lot as kids and those costumes and uniforms we talked about in the last blog most often came with a price tag attached. But yet again she found a way. She even took a kilt making course so she could help make band kilts to mitigate the cost of the expensive garment.
As an adult I take great pride in the times when there is seemingly nothing to eat in the house (work gets busy and sometimes groceries get forgotten) but I can whip myself up a batch of biscuits. Okay it is more often that I make her whipped shortbread but they make a great meal with a cup of tea.
Deb’s reflection of our younger years is accurate. I remember the year I was Miss Teen Cape Breton. Every year prior to my year, the Crowned Miss Teen was given a dress designed by a local designer to wear at the crowning of the next Miss Teen. Due to the designer’s health issues, however, the year I was going to crown the next Miss Teen there was no dress. We could not afford to buy a lavish dress that would compare with past years, so my Mother and a dear friend of hers set out to make me one. I still remember the glee I felt walking on that stage. It was perfect.
I think Mom’s ability came, in part, from her parents. Her father was respectfully known as One Arm Johnnie. He lost his arm to in a Mill accident, but that never stopped him. He was even known to drive a standard and use a wheelbarrow. Both took some doing with the aid of a belt or the use of a knee, but he made do and got the necessary done. He passed 30 years ago today, yet people still tell stories about the great man he was.
Our mother showed us that what you make of what you have is just as important as what you have. You may not always have the best of things, but if you value what you have and have love, you have all you need.
Mom, Her Father and her Brother, Richard.