Let us have a cup of tea.

We are starting this blog on August 30th as a tribute to the woman that helped mold the people that we are today. Today she would be 67 years old. Happy Birthday Mom!

Our mother loved to have a party at the house. She would make the most amazing food and fantastic cakes. She took on preparation with such determination and creativity. Our Mom was the one that would make things like watermelon boats, open faced sandwiches and a larger than life Love Boat cake. Considering she did it all in a time before Pinterest, it was extremely impressive. We often wonder, WOW, what would her granddaughter’s parties be like with Pinterest at her disposal. Epic!

She knew how to make someone feel special and as we got older, we learned the value of that. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to show someone you care.  There was a joy in surprising her as well, although, I do not think we ever really pulled one over on her. She expressed true happiness when we would come together as a family and just be together. A great birthday for her was having us around the table telling stories and laughing. Like most close siblings, we were prone to having at least one laughing melt down at such events. You know those laughing fits that leave you breathless. She would always have such a smile on her face when we would start.

As we reflect on the fact that our mother only had the pleasure of celebrating 55 birthdays, we are reminded of the importance of celebrating each one to its fullest. As our paternal grandmother would often say “having a birthday is better than the alternative” and as morbid as that may be there is a very important lesson in that statement. A lesson that leads us to the things we learned from celebrating Birthdays.

Be surrounded by those you love.

Once a year there is a day that is earmarked for you to feel special and although we were encouraged to celebrate small things in life throughout the year, that one day always holds special meaning. It is a time for you to be reminded that you are loved and as such it is important to schedule time that day to be with the ones you love.

On the flip side, take the time to remember the birthdays of the people you love. In an age of social media, most have experienced that unexpected Birthday wish that just helps put a smile on a person’s face. That connection, even if only virtual, feels good.

You never know when it will be your last.

When we celebrated our mother’s 55th trip around the sun, we knew there was a new chapter that would begin for her before she turned 56. A chapter that we thought would involve retirement, extended vacations and a new sense of peace for a woman that worked harder than most we knew all her life. The reality though was that she never saw 56.

Have a party because you deserve to celebrate.  

Our mother enjoyed having people to the house. Whether it was a party or a simple cup of tea, she enjoyed having people around that she could feed and talk with.  To her this connection was not just about the food on the table but the way relationships can feed the soul.

In our house when there was a gathering she would help make it great, turn it in to a celebration. We have realized in the years that have passed since our mother died, that we too enjoy entertaining and being with people. So when your birthday arrives, if there is not already a party planned, don’t be afraid to plan one yourself! Be the catalyst that brings together those people that make you happy.

Take time to reflect.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is taking the time to reflect on the good, the bad and the awesome. This can help with everything from goal setting to understanding your value.  The world can be very busy these days and we often fall prey to what others tell us “should be”. Take the time to quiet those voices and truly reflect on your own life, where you are and what you want.  Sometimes it is frightening to do so because there is a gulf between these things. But don’t fear that instead harness it. It can lead to big dreams that make great things. Mom taught us that dreaming big was never a bad thing.

There are many great philosophers, psychologists, life coaches, gurus out there who will give you plenty of wonderful advice on how to improve your life but at the end of the day I think our mother had it right.  Find joy in the small things, don’t be afraid to let the people you love know that and dream big.

To anyone that has been to our Mother's house, this picture is a familiar sight. She loved a corningware teapot.